THE POWER OF MOTHERS

It was incredibly heartening to see the hundreds of comments in response to Dr. Miriam Stoppard's irresponsible and inaccurate article on breastfeeding - not only did she appear not to know the WHO code, but she referred to many beneficial and normal attachment parenting techniques that are known to have been practised by man throughout history and across the globe as "extreme". Here is a group of Dani mothers breast feeding their infants in the Baliem Valley, at Irian Jaya, New Guinea, Indonesia. (From Photographers Direct) - they know nothing of modern western parenting, and do what is natural and what feels right.

The TIME magazine cover appears to have provided the basis for her entirely subjective and reactive piece.

So, let's look at a couple of other images.. Here is, top, an image of a nursing dyad from Uganda (Mauro Fermariello, Sciencephoto), an older child looking into the camera - why is this shocking? Looks normal and healthy to me! Neither exploitative or extreme!
And then, the next beautifully adorned woman is an Embera Indian breastfeeding her child in the Soberania Forest National Park, Panama, Central America (Robert Harding Picture Library) - she is looking ahead, and not at her child - so is this unnaceptable?
Women of the world going about their normal parenting business, Dr Miriam!

And here I am with my daughter, several years ago, in a London park.
I doubt that any of us mothers thinks that we need to tell our children how to wean - they can do it quite capably all by themselves.

You can see the Mirror article and read the comments, here...
http://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/health/when-should-you-stop-breast-feeding-1259599

Well done to all who responded with the facts!

We are really a strong and empowered group, showing that we can unite in force against formula manufacturers, aggressive advertising, and ill-informed opinion.
Of course, sometimes these are one and the same.

TIME

The image that keeps on giving...

So much ink has been spilled today - the TIME front cover showing a child breastfeeding  has been around the globe more times than Janet Jackson's nipple moment..possibly.

And, despite all the sniping and plain old strange comments about the mother's dress, her demeanour, her make-up, her stance, what cannot be denied is the publicity gained for normal breastfeeding. 

Ever since man first walked this earth, dyads have nursed every which way - upside-down, back-to-front, leaning,  sitting on a rock, swinging from a tree, twisting, turning, at night, in the morning....just, whatever, whenever.

The Time image is normal. It is out there. It will adorn coffee tables, surgeries, galleries, waiting rooms, newsagents...
It will be everywhere!
People will have a lot to say about it, doubtless...but, it will be there. 

Breastfeeding advocates have gained a lot of ground - but, ground that has only very recently and very locally been lost - we, the modern west, are the blip.

Let's celebrate normal breastfeeding, because that is what it is, and it has neither a special name, and, strictly, it is not part of a parenting style; no-one invented 'breastfeeding-until-a-child-slowly-chooses-to-forget-the-need', because it is what we, as mammals, as animals, have always done in order to survive.


Many, many people work hard every day to help with breastfeeding; mothers work hard every day to breastfeed, and so do babies and children - and TIME, in its own way, gave them 

all a hand....

...thanks TIME!

Curiouser and Curiouser.....

What a time the breastfeeding community is having...! 

Over the last week or so we have seen a woman discriminated against in Cafe Violette, near Stratford-upon-Avon - Jo Sale went to the local press, and the story made the newspaper . And then, Catrina Carten was asked to stop feeding her baby while shopping in her local Primark in Blackpool - this, too made the local news.

Next up...

This picture is of Caroline Gauthier breastfeeding her son - it falls within Facebook's rules and regulations - but, do you know what? They don't seem to care whether they follow their own rules or not when it comes to haranguing breastfeeding women....

So, the biggest news, and the most farcical, I might add, is the campaign that Facebook seems to be running against breastfeeding mothers and their support network.
As of this evening, I have been blocked from posting content onto Facebook (the second block in just over a week!) - this content being pictures that have been removed from others' walls and accounts, even though they fall within the "rules" that Facebook have set out...rules that have been "tinkered with" in the past few months, following Emma Kwasnica's concerted efforts and media pressure. And, so too have other women been blocked from posting images that appear to fall within the rules - among them, Jodine Chase and Shana Ritter, who both have been prevented from posting, and are currently unable to use Facebook to communicate without hindrance.
It is still happening!

Frustration has set in, and thus it was decided to launch our own campaign, and post a selection of the deleted images that have caused accounts to be blocked and suspended - one image, every hour, for 24 hours. Guess what happened - they have suspended people for the same pictures all over again! Here is the page where all 24 pictures can be viewed - but, you had better be quick, because Facebook, I don't doubt, will be sure to begin deleting all of these without explanation.
Let me finish by clarifying that some of these images were text only - with only the word "breastfeeding" contained within them. Surprised? Confused? Yes, everyone is! All of the almost 6000 people that have joined the "Hey FB breastfeeding is not  obscene" page here! And, so are the almost 7000 people who have joined the page supporting Emma Kwasnica.
Please share these pages widely and show your support - we need Facebook to know that we are not going away, and, infact, the more action they take, the more determined we are to stop this.

Facebook Censors work weekends, lates, and do not stop!

Good morning, on this slightly cloudy Saturday March 10th, 2012.
Well, it seems that my musings prior to turning in were not unfounded - it seems that I am being harassed. Repeatedly.
The beautiful Amazonian woman has now been removed from my timeline cover.
I do hope that I am not already bound and muffled once again, by the time I get to post this.....
I am angry...very angry... this nonsense is such a thorough waste of my time!!
Please, Facebook, desist!
(Picture has now been replaced....let's see what happens, now..)

Gagged, Bound, Shunned, Shamed, Punished!

Well, more than twenty-four hours have passed, and I still do not seem to be able to post or properly communicate with any of my Facebook community.
Facebook is "punishing" me, for sharing a breastfeeding image - the image, above; they have not told me for how long this will continue.
This is how Facebook treats those who seek to share important information, who seek to share the beauty of breastfeeding, and those who are keen to show the normality of breastfeeding; they gag them, by removing their ability to speak within their community, attempt to bind them, both with the gag, and according to their arbitrary censorship - a censorship that appears to work beyond the bounds of even their own rules, to shun them by placing them outside of their own ability to communicate and by informing them of their errant, offensive, and obscene action, with regard to their sharing of a breastfeeding image.
The punishment is a shaming - a message that images of breastfeeding are not acceptable, are placed within the same category as sexually explicit images, violent images. and set out along with racial hatred and the sort of thing that one would not want children to see - in fact, Facebook thinks that breastfeeding is so obscene and disgusting that they are acting to "protect" children by hiding it from view.

Now, see, my child sees breastfeeding every day, she breastfeeds every day, so do many of her friends...and, most of the adults that I know consider this normal and healthy. Breasts are neither disgusting, nor obscene - and, breasts are not a sexual - no, they are there for lactation purposes.


Facebook has done me one favour, though, and that is to give me time to think more deeply about this image in particular, albeit one of many that I have shared over the years of breastfeeding.
This woman can educate us in many ways - most obviously in terms of her visible pride and confidence in nurturing her child, but also we learn about the manner of body-painting that is executed in a way that accomodates breastfeeding, and about the particular nipple shape she possesses (because we are all so different, and it helps to normalise this), and even the way that she holds her child, while feeding him. She does not seek approval from the viewer, and she is not entirely engrossed in feeding her child - one is intrigued to look beyond the bounds of the captured photograph. Her child is healthy, precious, beautiful, unhindered; I wish that we could all say this about every nursing dyad living in a western society!

As to what I do on Facebook, well, I do what many other hardworking mothers do - nothing extraordinary, but together we make a difference (you know who you are!).
We are all terribly short of time, but, when I get a spare moment in the bathroom, or sit down with a cup of tea while my daughter is otherwise occupied, I check out Facebook and the breastfeeding support pages, and add a few words here and there, or comment on a post, reassure someone who is feeling exhausted and in need. Now, of course, I cannot do that.
And, if I need a word or two of encouragement or camaraderie, neither will I get this - Facebook deems me obscene, offensive, and not suitable for its network.

Except, Facebook, I am not going to just lay down and die.....I am gonna fight this stinking misogyny, this harassment, this vile idiocy and cringeworthy bullying of yours! You have not seen the last of me, or my friends and supporters! Because they are there, in their hundreds, after only a few hours, liking my picture, commenting on its beauty!
And, to all of those who support me, I thank you, because by supporting me, you are supporting every breastfeeding mother, every woman who has been subject to harassment, discrimination and hatred, because this is what this is.

And, I say this now - we will not be silenced. WE WILL NOT!!

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY & FACEBOOK'S MISOGYNY!!

        Today, I awoke to a blocked Facebook account - on INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY! The irony is palpable.

Because, after a day of international protest, a vast amount of publicity, a media spat with The Guardian, and further coverage regarding their unsavoury outsourcing practices, Facebook are unrepentant. They are still removing breastfeeding content as offensive and obscene, they are still upholding complaints with regard to breastfeeding pictures, and they continue to block and suspend accounts of those who dare to post images of breastfeeding women.

Facebook has suspended my ability to post at all, following my adding of a beautiful Amazonian nursing dyad. This IMAGE is both beautiful and educational; it shows a powerful, proud, strong woman nurturing her child. This is exactly the kind of image that women need to see, when faced with the crazy onslaught of hyper-sexualised breasts, nursing covers, and formula advertisements. This image, and images like it can redress the balance.

However, why we want to share this image is irrelevant, whether it is to consider the beauty and nature of the body adornment presented, or to mull over the shape of the nipple, or to marvel at the robust health of this dyad, or - whatever! It doesn't matter. The fact and principle is that this picture is neither offensive, nor obscene. If someone deems it as such, then Facebook ought to be reminding them of this fact - not reprimanding me for obscenity!

The fact is that Facebook has appointed itself prime censor - censorship that includes children pretending to feed their dollies, fully covered breastfeeding women, images of active nursing...
....inoffensive and natural mammalian life.

The Mummy demographic is BIG, Facebook, and we are not going to stand for this.

NOT!!

I apologise to all of those people with which I cannot converse, regarding breastfeeding chat, information, education, or advice.

Please register your displeasure by sharing this picture, by posting support on my Facebook page, and by sharing any breastfeeding image from my account.

Facebook's actions are misogynist, harassing, discriminatory, bullying, and singular - they have removed pictures that have appeared in international newspapers, in galleries - they have even removed images of statues that adorn cities across the globe!

For a moment, I would like to consider how Facebook makes people feel when they do this.......well, it is almost a kind of adult "time-out", isn't it? It is a shaming, a shunning, and an isolating; it is a cutting off of community and support. I dread to think what a new mother, proudly posting her new breastfeeding baby might think. Her enthusiasm, pride, elation, happiness may be seriously dented by this kind of action - which both breaks my heart and angers me immensely!


When Facebook decide to reinstate my right to use their facility, I will be continuing my work, my sharing of information and imagery.
And, well .... their office is only a couple of tube stops away - I could always pay them a visit to attempt to discuss breastfeeding imagery in-depth!

Lastly, here is evidence of Facebook's bullying that causes women to "self-censor" - since when did society become so afraid of nipples??
This shows the hesitant thoughts and worries engendered by facebook policy....

"... ♥ ...I actually edited that photo so that the child's hand was over the mother's nipple because I knew FB would go nuts if I posted it. "

 
This problem is far from resolved.

I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT WEANING!!!!

I am not a patient person. I don't do platitudes, much. But, I find infinite inner resources in order to nurture my daughter - many of you will be nodding in recognition...Now, when it comes to weaning, I will let my daughter get on with it - she can wean when she wishes, in the manner that she wishes; she will be four in April - her call. After all, she is the one needing the milk and nurture - so, who am I to try to tell her if she needs it? After all, good AP parents know not to override their child's own ability to know if they need clothes, a coat outside, if they are tired, hungry...same for nursing, right??

So, when I hear or read of people wanting to know how to wean their eighteen month old, six month old, two year old, I wince, my stomach knots, and I think of that child.

It is almost a taboo in these times to suggest that weaning may not be the best option...these times of support and mommy wars, and breastfeeding zealots and bottle/breast arguments raging, because any breastfeeding is good breastfeeding, and that is right enough.


But - why should I encourage or assist someone in their quest to wean their child?? Why should I, in the name of support, offer them a hand up and suggest the milk of another species as a viable alternative to the best thing that a mother can offer? Why should I nod and smile and agree that a stroke on the back is fine when there is a child begging for the breast?
Should I not tell them of the engorgement and mastitis that can ensue from sudden weaning, not to mention the hormonal dip that can occur? Ought I not to enquire what they plan to muster when their child goes into meltdown, and there is no soothing booby to offer that will quell the storm in moments..?
Should I not pass on the idea that if their child asks, then there is a need??

So, don't expect me to burst into momentous applause, say "Well Done!! You have done your bit as you perceive it, thus you deserve to wean your child."

Because I won't. 

I make no apologies - I advocate for the child.
And, if you didn't want this response, then go and find someone who will nod and pat you on the back.

A child is not born culture-specific, aware of fashion or fads, or knowing where is public or private, and neither do they know about modesty or appropriateness; they know about milk and love, and that is all mothers need to consider.

(Along with reading Kathy Dettwyler's "A Natural Age of Weaning")